Another Top Ten...
(A Special Post By Billiam Dunne)
As promised way back when I was actually gainfully employed, I love my Top Ten Lists. So here it is, the Top Ten Ideas Michael LoPorto has for Troy (these are good)
10) Get rid of everyone not Italian. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. He's so serious, he already made my change my name to Bill Dunnenuthiniano. He's serious.
9) Fire all the cops. Everyone knows they do nothing. And they wear blue. Ugh. It's Guardian Angels from here on out.
8) Turn downtown into Epcot Center, the World of Tomorrow. He wants to get rid of all the stores, and only have restaurants, run by him. No one else is allowed. And each night, there will be fireworks. This will only cost the taxpayers an additional $1,200/year in taxes. We think it's worth it.
7)Smoke 'Em if you got 'Em- Michael has promised to pull all of the smoking regulations throughout the City. Restaurants, public buildings, hell even schools, if you want to smoke, you can. Health be damned, this is America.
6)Deadwood- If you know Michael, then you know he was probably a contributing writer. The man works in profanity the way others would in oil or canvas. He's a true genius. Swearing in Troy will be a must, or else you'll be taxed.
5)Ducks- Whenever there is a flooding problem, water-main break, or anything else, Michael is going to give any resident hurt by it, a duck. Think about. They have that cute little quack, you can cook it, and there's that Aflac Commercial. He's brilliant really.
4)No more Bills- After his restaurant got another bill from the Action Team for being quite sloppy, Michael proposed getting rid of any fees from the DPW. Direct quote now, "Residents don't have to pay for it, why should I? I don't even live here, why should I pay the stupid taxes."
3)Grant Time- Learning well from the former Deputy Mayor, Big James Conroy himself, Michael is already promising he'll be applying for Federal 50/50 grant funding, sidewalk improvement, and a tax refund. "I'll be the law." He really is brilliant.
2)Do Not Accept Funds- You see, you may have heard about Michael and his issue over at the Sign of the Tree in Albany. Well, Michael really doesn't like all those guys he used to contribute to. So he's come up with a plan where the City of Troy will no longer accept state jobs, or state money. We'll do it on our own. He's so smart.
1)Winters in Troy- If he wins office, Michael has decided that he will no longer spend all of his time at his home in Brunswick. He'll spend at least one hour a day in Troy. Wow! What a guy.
As promised way back when I was actually gainfully employed, I love my Top Ten Lists. So here it is, the Top Ten Ideas Michael LoPorto has for Troy (these are good)
10) Get rid of everyone not Italian. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. He's so serious, he already made my change my name to Bill Dunnenuthiniano. He's serious.
9) Fire all the cops. Everyone knows they do nothing. And they wear blue. Ugh. It's Guardian Angels from here on out.
8) Turn downtown into Epcot Center, the World of Tomorrow. He wants to get rid of all the stores, and only have restaurants, run by him. No one else is allowed. And each night, there will be fireworks. This will only cost the taxpayers an additional $1,200/year in taxes. We think it's worth it.
7)Smoke 'Em if you got 'Em- Michael has promised to pull all of the smoking regulations throughout the City. Restaurants, public buildings, hell even schools, if you want to smoke, you can. Health be damned, this is America.
6)Deadwood- If you know Michael, then you know he was probably a contributing writer. The man works in profanity the way others would in oil or canvas. He's a true genius. Swearing in Troy will be a must, or else you'll be taxed.
5)Ducks- Whenever there is a flooding problem, water-main break, or anything else, Michael is going to give any resident hurt by it, a duck. Think about. They have that cute little quack, you can cook it, and there's that Aflac Commercial. He's brilliant really.
4)No more Bills- After his restaurant got another bill from the Action Team for being quite sloppy, Michael proposed getting rid of any fees from the DPW. Direct quote now, "Residents don't have to pay for it, why should I? I don't even live here, why should I pay the stupid taxes."
3)Grant Time- Learning well from the former Deputy Mayor, Big James Conroy himself, Michael is already promising he'll be applying for Federal 50/50 grant funding, sidewalk improvement, and a tax refund. "I'll be the law." He really is brilliant.
2)Do Not Accept Funds- You see, you may have heard about Michael and his issue over at the Sign of the Tree in Albany. Well, Michael really doesn't like all those guys he used to contribute to. So he's come up with a plan where the City of Troy will no longer accept state jobs, or state money. We'll do it on our own. He's so smart.
1)Winters in Troy- If he wins office, Michael has decided that he will no longer spend all of his time at his home in Brunswick. He'll spend at least one hour a day in Troy. Wow! What a guy.
posted by Dunne Nuthin at 12:40 PM
2 Comments:
Is Dunne out of his mind. He comments on a budget he has not seen, calls it "smoke and mirrors", and wonders aloud whether the tax increase is high enough. Is he nuts? Better yet in his re-election announcement he vows not to vote for a tax increase. Doh! Now he has to vote against hiring two new cops. Be prepared for more "Dunnespeak" coming your way. He is a course to crash and burn. I can hear the calls for mayday, mayday...
I ate at Loporto's for the first time last weekend and while I was there Mike introduced himself to me. He told me he was running for council to help his nephew do a better job in bringing economic development to the city. He said he thinks the mayor is doing a great job but needs his help. He showed me some large drawings he had made showing a ferris wheel and carnival atmosphere on the waterfront along with a ski lift like contraption that will carry people across the Hudson. He says that will be his number one priority. He wouldn't stop talking to us and we could not enjoy our anniversary dinner. Needless to say we won't be going back there. My wife thinks he's delusional and was probably drunk at the time.
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